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Alice in Monologue Land

23 July 2016

A fun, light, adventure-filled novel full of real women with curves and stage fright. A balance of humor, mystery, and romance.

When adjunct English instructor Alice Chalmers gets roped into reading a part in an upcoming campus production of The Venus Monologues, her life spirals out of control. The teaching job of her dreams is open, but the staid hiring committee won’t appreciate seeing her on stage discussing the “V-word.” Pressured by her dean to perform, Alice is in monologue hell. When she calls the production “The Venomous Mambas” or “The Viral Meningitis,” her children howl. But Alice has more pressing problems: some of her female students are disappearing.

At monologue practices, Alice meets the Venus Warriors, a fearless group of college women who cheerfully dish on men, menstruation, and menopause while bonding through skydiving and workshops where ALL things feminine are explored. Add an odd trio of men who long to explore all things feminine with Alice, starting with her lips and moving toward her monologue zone. But seriously: A snake-loving professor in Birkenstocks? A chain-smoking student with a chin mole? Or a too-young Colombian coffee god? The choice makes her head hurt.

Things get rough when someone sabotages the monologues with loose stage wires and poisoned brownies. But when one female student is found dead and another is in peril, the Venus Warriors fly to the rescue, and Alice skydives smack into an alligator’s nest of answers.

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